The first WOTW I chose was faith. Now before you think I chose it because it is a good missionary word and it will be an easy platform for me to highlight my faith over the past couple years, that is the furthest from the truth. In all actuality, I chose the word faith because recently God has been demostrating to me just how much of my life I live without faith. Sure I have the "saving faith" that will allow me to escape hell (which I am eternally grateful for...literally), but in my every day life I realized that very little of what I do incorporates faith. Two different verses convicted me and caused me to take a deep look into my own life and motives. The first one is Hebrews 11:6. "And without faith it is impossible to please God...". Really? Impossible? I have been a part of some pretty cool things over the past 2 years here. Does that mean that God wasn't pleased? What I realized of myself was that so much of what I do is done because it is what I want to do, what I think is best or it will achieve something for me. He was please I am sure with His name being proclaimed...but in spite of my lack of faith. Whether it is ministry, interactions with my family, community projects...etc much of what I do has been selfishly motivated. Even if on the outside there is not a shred of evidence that would indicate that, my inner motives would convict me. Like it says in Isaiah 64:6, "...and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags...". Within ourselves, apart from faith, we have nothing good to offer.
The second verse that really hit me hard was Romans 14:23, "...and everything that does not come from faith is sin." Everything? Now I am not going to the extreme of saying "God, in faith I am putting a thin layer of strawberry jam on my toast...etc". However, this verse has convicted me to evaluate my motives in much of my every day life. I was a passive controller (probably still am, just trying to recover). I would try to manipulate my life to go the way I wanted it to. Whether it be in my marraige, with my kids, in my job, while I am driving here in Cambodia (which is as futile as herding cats), with our adventure in support raising...etc. I wanted things to work out the way I want them to. Depending on what I was trying to control, at some level I would be angry if it didn't. And that happened a lot. It was exhausting and frustrating. That is when God smacked me on the forehead and said "Apply faith, I have it taken care of already". I am still learning to walk in that on a daily basis but I can tell you that I have realized that I am happier now even when I don't get what I want than I was a few months ago when I got what I wanted through manipulation. Not sure why I am surprised that the Bible is true...but I am glad it is.
Next week the word is: actually I'm not sure yet. I will let you know.
